Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "May I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "May I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."
Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me. I think I'm a kleptomaniac.
Doctor: Don't worry. I think there's something you can take for that.
Doctor: Don't worry. I think there's something you can take for that.
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